my shovel is bigger than yours

toucan town

chef's radio:
'if you can piss 6 feet up in the air without getting wet, NO DOWN PAYMENT!'

eating faceless




I am my parent's children

my parents are my father's friends

my father's friends are badasses

my father's friends ain't no dumb shit men.




I can see now, more clearly than ever, how things are controlling me. the ways in which I unknowingly control others.
I see it when I unintentionally control others, subconsciously i guess, but I am so perplexed or embarrassed by the potential situation, fearful, that I do nothing. i wish i was able to think on my feet and correct the situation, for the love of the people around me and their freedom.
I'm gunna start 'trying' to do this without skinning my face off on the pavement.
when i am being controlled, i seem to just let it happen, as if i wanted it- i have attempted many times today to resist, and do something else, what i should be doing - it is very, very difficult. I've just seen all these things today.
I'm going to test the shit out of that to, and break it in fucking half. i hope. i mean i think i am. i mean (the cartoon beetlejuice would think this out loud, and lydia would pump him back up and give him confidence again by believing in him)
My mind is warped by the people who raised me, and their disabilities- more their chemical and alcoholic dependencies. =codependency. =crazy fucking confused problematic bitch.
I'm working on it.



i don't even have a shovel. you win.