writing quips

plates and plates and plates of sliced peppered tomatos couldn't fix the sinking feeling of having become a burning man

hat karma. something I firmly believe in

FILET MIGNON PLEASE

mermaids my-coal brie-futon
mercedes nicole brereton

tim schade marmalade
tim schade

the exchange.

tim lampschade

C L E V E R

the filet mignon of the english language

oh facebook, tell me the ways and hows of life, oh facebook, you are my guiding light, oh facebook, sell me what you like, oh facebook, can you also find me a wife?

tonight is weird. i miss you. i feel like a paralyzed man who can't shower. ):

Emily's goldfish Pumpum was swimming upside down. the twins were covering they're faces hiding, shuddering or 'oooh!!!'ing everytime it started trying to swim again. It's constipated. so now we fast him for three days and put a bit of salt in his big bowl. silly Pumpum. silly Emily. Cute Twins.

No emily chambers, I would not like to fuck you. I would rather attempt personally inserting myself into a saxifrage bush, than having anything to do with the demonic temptress who lives behind the cardboard devider we like to call a wall in our basement. No emily chambers, I do not want to fuck you.

pounding head in big soft bed big fat room filled with orderly wardroob

I just keep pushing myself a little bit harder, always, one step at a time, even when I can't

All finished. my dick isn't only bigger than yours little rock, but its covered in FEATHERS as well. that's right. you sink into that river. i'll just fish you out later, like normal. ... .... i love you little rock don't ever leave me please


flying flaming cats attack the bastard faces of the men who pushed ico the horned warrior boy down the deep depthy dark wells of oblivion, FLAMEY PUSSYS IN YOUR FACES YOU BASTARD MEN, BURN BURN! that’s right.

whenever grandpa says anything like 'amanda's pregnant and getting married,' and then 'well i gotta take grandma's turd sample downtown,' everything is twice as funny and a lot better

must climb back on top of life rock

fucking encased boning birds and your high maintenance torso rigging dowl sucking stupid..... you know i love you i'm just stressed out, please don't cry chirpeeckra

"The 30 piece Idyllwild Arts Orchestra scores film compositions by Casey, Jonathan & Mint" -ira. hot damn idy, you just got me wanting you back again and again, i've never met a girl like YOU befoooore

drunken torch lighting, stomping out fires, light fixtures pouring 30 year old water on mexicans, drunken climbing of bell towers and isopod dome rafters, lovelies pissing off the top. and some piano hammers. aggressive renegade pidgeons.


old molly hare, whatcha doin there, sittin on uh haystack shootin at ah bear

I wish I was a horse. so 1, I could have a bigger dick than yours. and 2, I could have blinders to make me concentrate on other things than wishing I was a horse.

'oh Roger... you were magnificent.' 'reeEALly?' 'better than Goofy...'

.... evil little boys with secrets....

jeez mister spider! your butts even bigger than MINE!

so, tell me. does this stroke your..... fancy?

ocean waves pull back my ways, of perceiving where i stand, at first its cold after we're friends, i want to take the water's hand

'you're just a crazy nigga joe. just a crazy fuckin nigga.' 'we're all crazy niggas! you're pigeons a crazy nigga! that's why i'm gunna kill et!' 'i'm jewish joe.' 'you aint there. I aint there. your pigeon aint there. he flies high like he's there, but he only flies when you open that damned cage.' (jewish boy sets bi...rd free.) 'ok bird, fly.' (bird lands on roof cable antenna.)
-heavy traffic scene

my daddy's ball's are bigger than your daddy's balls.

the bea-ich.
-jasmine marin

Sometimes my tounge gets ticklish when I eat chocolate cake-dad, on ticklish tounges. She was horribly disfigured-mrs napauli on his dead lizard mummy collection

Trolly car cables stretched like spider's webs above the once sophisticated, now tourist flooded fisherman's warf of San fransisco

my dad just said to himself, thinking i couldn't hear, in an old lady voice quietly: 'now everytime i have sex, all i can think about is taking a crap.' ...

dear nancy the lesbien next door, even though all the cristians here hate you and i've never been alowed to talk to you, i'm coming to every party you host for the rest of when i'm in town. love, your little mercedes

HUNTER S. THOMPSON FOR SHERIFF

not knowing what you're doing is right, making your best guess, trying to be justly polite and deeply burying regret. Hey tulip lick the air hey tulip be prepared

nice car? 'my dick is bigger than yours.'